A Facebook friend referred to cats as "viscous creatures." Yes! And not only slippery, but vicious!

A Facebook friend railed against the President-elect: "Trump is reeking havoc everywhere he goes." I guess he means Mr. Trump stinks. And it's making my friend into a nervous wreck

Contributed by Warren Silver's daughter:  Donald Trump was condemning the optimistic picture of the nation that Hillary Clinton painted at the Democratic National Convention.  Speaking at a rally in Denver, Trump said Clinton was “talking last night about how wonderful things are. She made it sound like everything is rosy-dory,” Trump said. “Things are not rosy-dory, folks.”

Bob Gordon shared this: "I was talking to Linda and mentioned that UNAIDS was an anacronym. An anacronym, in case you didn't know, is a scrambled acronym.  On second thought, it's an acronym that is out-of-date.

A Fox News blonde observed, "Donald Trump is stubbing his nose at the Republican Party establishment." Warren Silver remarked, "Whenever I stub my toe, I snub it until it feels better."

Posted on Facebook: "The second time my friend let me down, that was a real lessen for me." The lesson: a betrayal will always erode a friendship.

A colleague's plea after sending me a confidential email: "Please keep it under your belt." Good idea. My hat is temporarily full.

Overheard on the tennis court during a discussion of the chance that Marco Rubio would win the Republican nomination for President: "It would be easier to get a camel into heaven." Not to mention getting a fat man through the eye of a needle.

Former Boston Mayor Tom "Mumbles" Menino on the future of his beloved city: "Hope burns eternal." We'll spring for that.

An ESPN basketball commentator on Notre Dame's overtime win over Duke: "I have to give my hat to those young men." We tip our hat to such a generosity.

The Happy Wonderer

A psychologist wrote in a manuscript about the effect of exercise on mood: "When you get bored, your mind wonders off." I've often wandered about that myself.

The Minnesota sheriff on the series Fargo: "You better watch it, Buddy, before you find yourself up a tree without a paddle." Yes, you need a paddle to swat the kitten off the oak limb.

A pundit on Fox News claimed, "That was a bold-faced lie." What courage it takes to lie through your teeth. But it cause hair-loss, resulting in complete baldness.