A sportscaster describing a problem he suffered when playing minor league baseball in Connecticut: "I couldn't choose between the Yankees and the Red Sox because I didn't have a pony in that fight."

Sportswriter Ron Sirak passed along this remark from an official discussing some new rules of golf: "I will explain this in a way the lame man can understand." What women say when they perform the feminine version of "mansplaining".

An ex-convict talking to a Cape Cod Times reporter about his effort to go straight: "Going back to prison is always on the tip of my mind."

Audrey on Twin Peaks: "Laura had a sweet tooth for nose candy."

Tim Traub said, "Silence rained...." And we all got wet.

A Facebook friend referred to cats as "viscous creatures." Yes! And not only slippery, but vicious!

A Facebook friend railed against the President-elect: "Trump is reeking havoc everywhere he goes." I guess he means Mr. Trump stinks. And it's making my friend into a nervous wreck