Carmine Lupertazzi, a mob boss on The Sopranos: "We attack, they react, we retaliate, they respond. How did we get ourselves in this stagmire?"

World Series announcer: "A literal light went off in his head halfway through the game."  I think they call that a stroke.

An anonymous contributor sent this: "Wash the hand that feeds you." Always do this before you bite it.

Expert golfer Steve Roehm said in praise of his partner's drive, "You hit it straight as a dime." A fellow golfer asked, "You meant  to say, 'straight as a die'?" Steve replied, "Depends on how you look at the dime." That makes it a malaphor.

B. Boone, the manager of our local golf club, describing a fellow with a hair-trigger temper: "He went apocalyptic." That's much more violent than "apoplectic."

Professor Warren Silver forwarded his daughter's suggestion that he "put this in your hat and smoke it."

An author recommended, "A leader should encourage her people to bring their best problem-solving skills to bare." And should they tell her the truth about her "new clothes"?