News report concerning the impending fiscal cliff:  "President Obama said he's 'modestly optimistic'". Um,Sir, do you mean "moderately"?

An NPR host commenting on the rush toward the so-called fiscal cliff: "Just one positive economic factor could create a virtuous cycle." Good on her if she meant it. That's better than a vicious or viscous one.

Who knew?

Some malaphors get so embedded in the family argot that their inaccuracy goes unnoticed for decades.  I have two to confess, and both, I apologize, include scatological words.  First, I said "No sh-t, Shylock" for years before some aurally observant soul pointed out that Sherlock was the focus of that statement.  Who knew? Second, in my family the phrase to ingite action was "Fish or get off the pot." It wasn't until today that the Chief Malaphor Specialist pointed out to me that my family had been involved in a Malaphor Mashup of "Fish or cut bait" and "Sh-t or get off the pot."  Once again, who knew?

Tony Soprano remarked to a henchman who had botched a hit: "Well, you've gotten us into a fine stagmire this time." Still, it falls short of Christopher's remark when Tony suggests the gang get out of the waste management business and into health care scams: "Aw, Tony, garbage has always been our bread and butter."

Greg Gutfeld on "Red Eye", discussing same sex marriage: "No one's talking about the 800 pound elephant in the room."

An author wanted to acknowledge her editor's help in discussions and on the pages of her manuscript: "A big thank you to my editor for all his help both on and off the sheets."

Russell Crowe in MASTER AND COMMANDER: "Don't count your eggs before they're in the pudding."

ATweeter thanked someone for offering a suggestion that was not a "waist of time." She was referring to an hourglass?

An agent on the television show NCIS: "It looks like she woke up on the far side of the bed."

A sports commentator on Texas A&M dominating Alabama with a smothering defense: "They took the wind out of their wings."

"Don't put all your chickens in one basket."

"We need to go through the manuscript with a tooth and a comb."

"They met atop the Empire State building; it was love at first site."

Comes the Revolution

"The leader of the revolution was a real rebel rouser."

Posted by a teenage girl on FaceBook: "I smacked a policeman because that's the way I role!"

"Your brain is designed to serve up delicious plates of self-protective bullshit, so it can become a slippery slope." (From a manuscript on leadership psychology)

From a Facebook post about world hunger: "But would that the world would not turn a bling eye on the world's ills."

In the Cape Cod Times a reporter wrote, "The fabric designer and her mother dappled in fabric for many years."

An actress interviewed by Greg Gutfeld on red Eye: "I know I screwed up, but he didn't need to rub it in my face."

An author wrote about her new idea for a book: "Client reactions will test its metal."

A viscous cycle can lead you down a slippery slope!

Wordplay: Malaphor Contest

Wordplay: Malaphor Contest: The Truro Tattler has launched a global search for examples of a new figure of speech, the malaphor. A malaphor is a cross between a malapr...

Entries from several contributors:

1. "I felt like a horse out of water."
2. "Stop walking around that issue on kid gloves."
3. "It's time to get your ducks in a barrel."
4. "She found the kink in my armor."
5. "In one end and out the other."
6. "That's a fish of a different color."
7. "It's no skin off my feet."
8. "The shoe is on the other table."
9. "Would you please cut to the cheese."
10. "A kink in the ointment."
11. "It feels good to be back on terra cotta."
12. "Fiesta resistance."

Wordplay: Malaphor Contest

Wordplay: Malaphor Contest: The Truro Tattler has launched a global search for examples of a new figure of speech, the malaphor. A malaphor is a cross between a malapr...

Thrilled to be able to contribute to the earth-shaking development that will further our understanding of  language and culture.

Malaphor Contest

The Truro Tattler has launched a global search for examples of a new figure of speech, the malaphor. A malaphor is a cross between a malaprop and a metaphor. The best ones make sense in a weird way. For example:

1. "I feel like the village albatross." The speaker meant "village idiot" but crossed the saying with "an albatross around my neck."

2. "Never shoot a gift horse in the face," The speaker may have been thinking about "looking" a gift horse in the mouth and "they shoot horses, don't they?"

3. "Chiseled in wool or carved in wool." The speaker meant "granite."

4. "This should wet your appetite." This makes almost as much sense as "whet".