Monica Lewinsky, writing for Vanity Fair, praised Norman Mailer's wife, Norris Church, for her "hardy laugh"--probably not a belly laugh, but one from the heart.

Our faithful correspondent, Professor Warren Silver, submitted this one:  "In a recent phone conversation with my sister. she was talking about gathering several medical opinions to address a problem. 'Well, that will just throw another wrench into the pot'."

Carmine Lupertazzi, a mob boss on The Sopranos: "We attack, they react, we retaliate, they respond. How did we get ourselves in this stagmire?"

World Series announcer: "A literal light went off in his head halfway through the game."  I think they call that a stroke.

An anonymous contributor sent this: "Wash the hand that feeds you." Always do this before you bite it.

Expert golfer Steve Roehm said in praise of his partner's drive, "You hit it straight as a dime." A fellow golfer asked, "You meant  to say, 'straight as a die'?" Steve replied, "Depends on how you look at the dime." That makes it a malaphor.

B. Boone, the manager of our local golf club, describing a fellow with a hair-trigger temper: "He went apocalyptic." That's much more violent than "apoplectic."

Professor Warren Silver forwarded his daughter's suggestion that he "put this in your hat and smoke it."

An author recommended, "A leader should encourage her people to bring their best problem-solving skills to bare." And should they tell her the truth about her "new clothes"?

Guy Kawasaki advises new authors, "Do not hide under a bushel." If you keep your flashlight handy, you can read your book in there.

An author writing about expanding her promotional opportunities:"I'm keeping my ear to the grindstone." Ouch. Better to keep your nose to the rail.

An aspiring book author wrote that "writing is my favorite pass time." Yes! It is a great way to pass time. It's also a wonderful pastime.

From our faithful correspondent Professor Warren Silver: "My daughter described a situation that had become a thorn of contention. When I pointed out her malaphor, she said, 'Dad, I have a thorn to pick with you.'"

In an email from the Chequessett Club, Karen invited members to an event where she would "pair wine with deserts." In our opinion, anything wet hits the spot in Death Valley.

A  National Journal blogger explaining how to complain about poor customer service: "Remember that you always catch more flies with sugar than honey." A matter of individual taste, of course.

Another Fox News interviewer said about the current rebel leader in Iraq, "He's been quite successful fermenting chaos."

A Fox News reporter asked an expert on the contemporary music scene if he thought a young pop star would create more than one hit song. The expert said, "No, I think he's just a flash in the pants."

From The Cape Cod Times: "The FDR impersonator affected a stylish cigarette holder and a prince-nez." We bet he could do a great Prince Charles.

Found by son, Steph, on the door of a campus building in Oakland: "Turn off your cell phones and put them in your bag packs." Only if you pack your bags in your backpack.

"I enjoy raining horses." Did the author mean "training"? If so, that's a typo. If he meant "reining", that's a malaphor.

In a manuscript about improving state government: "The Oregon legislature got great results with a bottoms-up approach." Hmm.

An economist, answering a question about leveling economic sanctions against Russia: "That would be a thumb in Putin's nose."

Andy Levy on Red Eye, talking about new laws to prevent smoking outdoors: "That train has already sailed."

An author of a career book wrote in her manuscript that a recently appointed CEO "now brings home the big doe." In the margin her editor wrote, "Oh, deer."

Two classics from an episode of The Sopranos. Tony's girlfriend Irini: "You are my knight in white satin armor." Tony on a friend's prostate operation:"Now he has to piss into a cathode tube."

Former Massachusetts U.S. Congressman William Delahunt, defending the $250,000 a year salary he will receive as head of a medical marijuana dispensary: "It's not the golden calf or the golden cow." No, it's a goose, and it will be laying a lot of golden eggs in his pocket.

An author describes folks trying to dream up a creative solution to a tough problem as "wracking their brains." Yes, thinking too much can lead to wrack and ruin. Better to stretch the old brain on the rack.

Submitted by our Florida correspondent who provided the inspiration for this blog with his self-deprecating comment on the tennis court. "I feel like the village albatross"-- a pretty CNN reporter observed that a certain company may have avoided legal trouble by "slipping under the loophole." Nice radar, Professor Silver!

In a Cape Cod Times editorial: "After less than a year in office, Senator Elizabeth Warren is now considered presidential timbre." Does that mean she shouts loudly from the podium?