Fox News reporter on the lack of a verdict in the trial of a Baltimore police officer: "Officials are walking around on pins and needles." Due, no doubt, to the global egg shell shortage.

A Fox News commentator observed, "Donald Trump knows how the American people feel on a guttural level." We do growl a lot.

Heard on Fox News: "That will be a tough road to hoe." Especially if it's asphalt.

Found in a manuscript on leadership:"You need to make sure your people bring their motivational jeans to work." Will shorts serve the purpose?

From a DIRECTV description of a Mad Men episode: "Roger pawns off a project on Don." And for $5 he can get it out of hock.

Golf partner Bill Whigham said about a good fairway shot, "It went like hotcakes." And hotcakes run like the wind.

Contributed by sportswriter Ron Sirak, gleaned from a blog by a writer who shall, for obvious reasons, remain anonymous: 1. "It was beyond the reach of the average lame man." An insult to the physically challenged and nonprofessionals everywhere. 2. "She was a real pre-Madonna." Before the gave birth to Jesus, of course. But she was a pretty good dancer.

Another posting from the linguist Warren Silver: "On a TV series called "The Listener" the supervisor of two detectives issued marching orders by saying, "You may want to shake that tree until it bears some fruit". Good to know that high winds or earthquakes will increase production in fruit orchards.

From our trusty correspondent, Warren Silver: "On tonight's six o'clock news a Boston Celtics coach said about the upcoming play off series, "We have a tough nut to climb". Sounds like a squirrel's delight or a wrestler's nightmare."

A reporter, on hearing that a female executive had hired an over-qualified male second-in-command: "Well, he will be breathing down her throat." I don't think she meant mouth-to-mouth resuscitation or French kissing.

Career coach Katie Kelley on Facebook: "Supper sizing my chardonnay and contemplating what to give up for Lent." She pours 8 ounces for lunch, 12 ounces for supper.

When Bob Gordon did not hear what his wife was trying to telling him, he replied, "Sorry, Dear, I was in a reveille." He was not lost in a reverie; he was just waiting for his wake-up call to conclude.

In a query seeking literary representation, an aspiring novelist wrote, "My book is a stream of conscience." Like Crime and Punishment, we assume.

The mob boss on the television show Gotham: "A  bird in the hand is nine-tenths of the law."

A would-be author of a cookbook in her query letter: "I also tell readers why spicy foods can reek havoc with their bowels." And too much chocolate can wreck your diet.

A Fox news talking head commenting on tracking down the most wanted terrorist: "It's like looking for a needle in a needle-stack."