In a YouTube video a fellow said he stopped eating pomegranates when he got juice all over his white shirt while struggling to open one: "It was the needle that broke the camel's back." Almost as bad as looking for a straw in a haystack.

A tennis partner reacting to an opponent hitting six spectacular shots in a row: "Buddy, you're living on borrowed land." Now that would make sense if you had just taken out a mortgage on your farm.

In a manuscript under contract to a major publisher, an author told the story of a young woman's spectacular performance on the soccer field, concluding with: "I was so proud of her amazing athletic feet." Any other sport, and I would have dismissed this as a lowly malaprop.

Football analyst Shannon Sharpe on hazing in the NFL: "The locker room is no place for racial epitaphs." May racism rest in peace.

I sent a Hebrew message to David Bernstein, who had sent an email to our tennis group in French, saying he has returned from Paris and will play this Saturday. Google Translator gave me this translation for "We look forward to mopping up the court with you":

אנו מצפים לשטיפת בית המשפט איתך!

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When David translated it back into English, he got this:​

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"We are waiting for the rinsing of the courthouse with you."

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From Betty Rauch:  "Overheard at a committee meeting for a nonprofit organization. Committee member was discussing the rapid growth of a new endeavor:  'It grew like Moxie.' Given the circumstances, seemed kind of appropriate to me."

Flaw in the Ointment

A Fox News analyst commenting on the downside of altering the NYCD "stop and frisk" policy: "Well there is a flaw in the ointment."